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Its unnatural. Unapologetically so. Few cases of this are visible even in the Animal Kingdom. Swans mate for life, penguins also have one life partner and 11 other species. But the most genetically advanced species in the world decides that it is oh so fashionable to render our birth givers and nurturers, single. The phenomenon of the single mother has blind sided us, knocking us off balance and we are teetering on the precipice of the destruction of the family unit. There are many reasons why some mothers are single. By choice, or lack thereof, when a lackadaisical excuse of a man decides he can’t reap what he has sown in his mate’s womb, he has PlayStation and iPhone to buy after all, and diapers would get in the way of his funding some rachet’s cause to drink Guarana out of stock in Kenya. We are not here today to save the world (not yet anyway) We are not here to bash the deserters (already did but that’s besides the point) We are here to celebrate the single mother. To remind her that she is a vision, a goddess. Today I assert my opinion, confident in my conviction, that the single mother, is the sexiest woman in the world (did I hear a ‘PREACH’?). I have met quite a few single mothers. Some are my very close friends. They all have different strengths and characters but one thing that they do have in common, is that they are all mind-numbingly hot! So jaw dropping are their looks that I usually have to compose myself (the pants get uncomfortable for some reason) when talking to them. It’s not a coincidence that this is so. I’ll tell you why. Nature has a way of balancing things out. When you have fallen short of one area, it strengthens another. It’s in nature’s design that there be two of every sex in all species. Male and Female. It’s in our sociology that the sexes be together in a union. Polygamous or Monogamous, doesn’t matter. When a man makes a woman a single mother, it is biologically imperative that she searches for another mate. And how does she get another one? By being physically attractive. Hence the Aphrodite look-alike contest among Single Mothers. Let us delve further though and unearth the other tricks this embarrassingly attractive woman has up her biological and social sleeve. Breasts. Its common knowledge that when a  woman gives birth, her breasts become engorged with milk. For nurturing her child – I’m looking at you, peeps from Migori. Gentlemen, we all know we have a mild (mild meaning maniacal obsession) liking for breasts. They are round, bouncy and soft. We like them big, not size Double G big (personal preference, not judging you Mr. Serial Motorboater), just big. And no one has larger natural boobs, than a new mother. She is a guaranteed victim of loads of motorboating. Mbrrrrrrrr! Just nuzzle your face into them while hitting it missionary, you wont last a minute my good man! Titties, titties and more titties. It’s a buffet of titties with single moms (literally). Just make sure you don’t suck them, lest you be awash in milk. If you do prefer to suck them, we might need a therapist for you because you might just be the sickest fuck we have, or you might be from Migori. Ass This is also another physiological development in a woman when she is pregnant. The body stores nutritious fats in her derriere for feeding the baby when it’s a foetus, and for making milk when the baby is born. I know I’m preaching to the choir when it comes to ass. If people are spending fortunes just to get some extra padding in the tush, best believe we love us some ass!! Spank it, grab it, bite it. Its there for your enjoyment guys, play nice. Vagina The Vagina is the best invention in the history of man, only seconded by the English Premiere League. It can push out a baby, stretching to unimaginable lengths, then a few months later, go back to normal like that shit didn’t happen! When it does go back though, Its Madonna all over again! Like a virgin!! It becomes tighter than my end month budget! You’ll be stroking her with tears in your eyes, singing Don’t cry for me Argentina . That sex will be the best 5 seconds of your life! This all depends though with the mother’s willingness to do regular Kegel exercises to tighten her vagina. Be ready to light incense after sex and bow down while chanting “I am not worthy” Commitment or Nah The fact that she is single with a Kid, means she just got out of what was once a meaningful relationship. Not particularly eager to get back on the saddle. If you on the other hand aren’t looking for a relationship either, then this works perfectly for both of you. She’s horny because the last dick she saw  put her in this mess and she hasn’t had none since, you’re horny because… Well because you’re a man. Single moms like to get the ceremony out of the way. That’s because once you’ve given birth, you’re pretty much more bad ass than Batman. No need to beat around the bush. You want to fuck? Let’s fuck. You nut, she cums, just be gone before her son wakes up. On the other hand if she’s been single for a long time and she’s ready to give love another shot, and at the same time you are willing to throw away your Durex packs and let loose your pussy harem, you can make the perfect couple. Because you both know exactly what your goal is. A Single mother has loads to offer both the randy and respectable gentleman. She’s a hot ticket, and I didn’t even need to put her on OLX! Should you be so lucky to bag one, this is the closest you’ll ever get to banging Wonder Woman, because Single Mothers, are the real Super Heroes. Happy Belated Mashujaa Day to all these extra special MILFs out there. You’re my heroes.
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Sometimes all we need a little nasty TLC. You’re home from work/school (not high school), tired, you’ve been rained on, all you want is a hug and some warm tea, but your ‘bae’ ‘boo’ ‘love’ ‘hun’…your resident idiot, is super duper horny for you. You look at that sexy body laid in all its naked glory before you and feel nothing but dread. Your partner wants…nay needs, you to be stellar tonight. There’s nothing worse than sexually disappointing someone so horny they’re turned on by the mere presence of you. No, you need to be at peak performance. But all you wanted is tea! Fuck! How do we salvage this situation? Well, there’s a way you can get the warmth and intimacy you desperately need from your decidedly randy sex mate without leaving them woefully unsatisfied and you even more stressed out and exhausted. The following move is perfect for those nights when all you need is a warm body intent on loving out all the cold this, ironically, chill deficient world, has cruelly inflicted upon you. The Classic Missionary Even monkeys know how to get into this position, but I insist on telling you how because describing these things turns me on a lot little! Lay her down gently on the bed/couch/carpet and kiss her. Kiss her until she starts to moan. afrisex4 Rub yourself against her, body to body, while your tongues whirl against each other’s. If your foreplay involved lots of massage oil then the rubbing will make the experience 100x more erotic. When she’s good and wet, slide your dick head into her. Just the dick head. It’s to collect moisture for what’s coming next. Get your boner wet and slippery then withdraw and run the tip lightly over her swollen clitoris. Some girls will find direct contact to be too much so a circular motion just around the little button’s edges – with a little more pressure than you would around her clit, should do the trick. How to know you’re doing the right thing: She moans, long and hard. Yeah? No. What you should look for is a change in breathing patterns. A sharp intake of breath or an increase in her breathing pace. The faster she breathes the better you’re doing. Of course moaning isn’t discounted…but we’re mostly liars and could be faking it. Just go with the breathing. After rubbing around/on her clit for 15 seconds your dick head is getting dry. Go back down and collect the moisture. Just the dick head yo, don’t get greedy. You can penetrate and withdraw the head a few times just to annoy her, then back to the clit. Take that button in circles until her eyes are rolling in rhythm with your D. Make her beg. Only when she’s at peak arousal are you allowed to enter her full. Do it slowly and gently. Love that pussy. Take it. Have it. Like it’s your most precious possession. As you enter her try your best to maintain eye contact. This part will require a little dialogue beforehand but it’s worth it. Keeping your eyes locked together throughout will be hard. The sensations coursing through your body at this point if you’ve followed my instructions, will be forcing your eyes shut like you’ve got magnets on each eyelid. Ignore instinct and watch your partner make love to you. Intimacy is the key word and this is a foolproof way to achieve it. Who cums first? It’s quite hard to achieve a simultaneous orgasm but trying is always a lot of fun! Having a generous partner that tries to make sure you cum first is always a major plus. Gents have famously been castigated for their selfish ways and we forget that us girls need to make his cumming interesting too. Do your best during foreplay to turn him on as much as you possibly can. Get better at head. Reciprocate with the massage. Don’t be afraid to feel around for sensitive spots. Use all these to your advantage. Move around during the missionary. This isn’t the position to leave it all up to him. Man in charge mpaka lini? You can should will take control and make his blood boil? What are all those late nights, spent winding your waist in time with Konshens’ instructions for if you can’t transfer this particular skill set to your bedroom? Any ‘good girls’ reading this? You don’t go out? Well, almost all the nursery rhymes we learned as kids taught us how to wind the waist. Yes, it was all for practice. Hook those legs around his waist and start moving! Kegels mami. Super important. That dick massage from your pussy will have him singing the Opera…in his mother tongue!!! Who said the missionary was boring. I would personally like to thank Johann Ludwig Kraphf (sp?) and his Mrs for bringing this position back and insisting on it as the Standard for all good Christians everywhere. In no way did they mention not fiddling with it. Be innovative. Make the tried and true a little nastier. afro
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