Secrets

Bare Naked Truth

I spare no amount of effort nor will power in saying this, knowing¬† fully well that i shall bear a great cross once these words escape my mouth but here goes… *exhales* Kingwa Kamencu is the voice of our generation! Look, I said it and didn’t turn into a pillar of salt! The former presidential aspirant, hit the blogosphere again and this time with¬† pictures that had nothing to do with politics. Photos of her seated, nude, have been circulating the web, and I’m sure a few cell phones, over the past week. This is the same Kamencu who brought us such hits as “Its ok to fap, in fact the Government should support it!” and the ever popular, “No underwear? Don’t care!” Constantly in the limelight, this time she decided to bath in it nude and it’s this latest venture that has me convinced that she speaks for us all, ridiculous as it may sound. Nudes. They have become the drug of choice for all pop culture junkies. Social media has promoted them to such an extent that there are apps that facilitate the exchange of nudes. Snaps of bra-less boobs, erect dicks, dripping wet pussies, asses! Nothing is too sacred to be shared and no one too holier-than-thou to press that send button. It’s a generation so obsessed with nudity, we sell it and not even in the conventional ‘buy a trashy magazine’ sense. Remember that chik who was selling her nudes on Twitter and Facebook? Exactly! I didn’t buy one but you if you can, put her number in the comments section, it’d be much appreciated. Lol, I’m kidding! (My editor made me say that. Seriously, number, comments section, below.) How did we end up here though? Most of us were raised by God fearing parents, went to Sunday school, probably took part in a biblical play or two, went to high schools sponsored by churches… How did we get from “Yesu ni bwana” to “100 RTs and I twitpic my clit” so fast? I think we’re reverting to our original selves, as God intended, and by that I mean, the beginning, just after creation . Adam and Eve lived peacefully in the nude before they fucked up royally. Nudity wasn’t a sin then. Just as it shouldn’t be now, or anything to be ashamed of. How could it be when it’s the form we assume at the purest point of our existence? Birth. It’s only associated with sin because that’s the first thing Adam noticed about himself when he sinned against God. God didn’t say it was a sin, Adam did. Society since has has had us believe that we shall burn in the fiery pits of hell, should we dare have a garment out of place. We are told nudity encourages sexual behavior. Of course it does! I’d be disappointed if it didn’t! It’s good to see the merchandise before actually buying it. And what about ‘Go forth and fill the earth?’ First law God ever gave us. Even before that tree stuff. How are we supposed to procreate without attraction? It’s best we all remember that sexual attraction, is a natural human instinct. It’s not wrong to want people to be attracted to us and thus showcase our…ahem…goods. We are all vain to an extent. When you hit the gym to exercise, and work on your glutes (buttocks, for those that aren’t fitness savvy) , ladies, do you not wear a tight dress to show off your figure, to exhibit your tight ass? Guys, when you are all ripped and the abs are killer, do you not hit the beach to make ladies swoon? You see! People need to get that stick they have up their collective ass and lighten up. This point has to be made, nudity creates jobs. Yes, and Kingwa should use this as her platform for her next presidential bid. Job creation for the unemployed, sexy youth. Our socialites pose for pictures that sell very well for the photographer. Where would the world be without the ass on legs that is Kim Kardashian-Faciaknight (in my fap dreams we are married awaiting divorce so that I can be having angry ex-sex on the daily) We all know how she got started. Sex tape manenos. Film is a form of expression, like writing or painting. She was expressing her right to wobble that ass on Ray J’s face. Just yesterday, reports surfaced that Hollywood’s A list female celebrities all had their phones hacked at the same time! What was the hacker searching for? Nudes of course! And because since the advent of camera phones none can resist the urge to immortalize their gonads, they managed to get nudes of all those targeted! Without even missing one! What is the statistical probability of that happening? 1 (hi5 mathematicians!) I can’t wait to get pics of Jeniffer Lawrence, her rack on American Hustle was award winning! n.b: The fact that I’m doing my shopping today and will double my usual supply of tissue and lotion has absolutely nothing to do with this breaking news *clears throat * Its painfully obvious that we are fighting a losing battle, trying to mask this primal urge we have to get naked and advertise. Just succumb to it and take a picture of your Double Ds. As for those nudes for sale, niko na titty fifty, hio ni boob moja ama kunyi nusu? I’m asking for a friend.