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Minx, Real Life Story
I can’t really remember my very very first sexual experience with a girl. I can’t remember my first sexual experience period. Just snippets of giggling in dark places as a kid, show me yours I’ll show you mine manenos. I do remember feelings of shame whenever I was caught with a girl. I must have been caught with boys too, but there’s zero guilt associated with those, so of course they didn’t make a mark, and I barely remember those experiences.

The first time I thought, ‘Shit, I might be gay,’ I was 17 and loooooving the feel of some light skin Kiuk girl’s boobs. We’d spent the day bonding AF! I only realized she’d been hitting on me when I woke up, it was a sleepover, and she was trying to get her hands under  my jumper to grab and my nipples. Sigh…

Thing is, I couldn’t be gay. I was into boys. Like really  into boys. So, no I wasn’t gay. And bi is only a thing girls are in campus, right? To impress boys… I decided I would leave all my experimentation to Uni, when it would be considered normal to have sex with girls.

Campus came round and it turned out, it wasn’t really acceptable there either. The shaming still happened, albeit in the form of rumors of who’d been expelled or suspended in high school for being gay. These ones were still shunned in the grown up world. I found myself grateful I’d had a firm ‘no sex in school’ policy (adopted while in a mixed school) that had saved me from this unique form of slut shaming.

I was already considered a whore by those who purported to know me, and the social consequences were damning, but homophobic shaming was on a whole other level that I was sure I didn’t want to take part in. Not to say that I didn’t do my fair share of drunk make out sessions with girls, for the male gaze of course.

The first time I actually had sex with a girl, it was supposed to be a threesome. I hadn’t even considered it. She was gorgeous, skinny (I still had hang ups about being fat dem days), totally out of my league. She was hitting on my friend, they were going to have sex, he knew I was a freak and when the sly opportunist asked if she was game for a threesome and she said an enthusiastic yes, I just went along with it. Woe unto him. 

I knew this was something different immediately we started making out. His exclusion was palpable. Aliambiwa akae kando, then when he went out for a smoke she locked the door behind him. Ha! We fucked for hours!!!! So good. Fuck!

I’d used the word ‘bisexual’ to describe myself before, but it didn’t ring true until that experience. I knew I didn’t want to stop, but I didn’t know where to go next.


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Cheating, Humor, Mofeas, Real Life Story, Secrets
It is said the road to perdition is paved with good intentions. I’m afraid i’m about to become a poster boy for this saying very soon. My end is nigh but if I’m to serve as a cautionary tale I’d rather it be in my own words for the sake accuracy. You see I’m not a relationship expert, I don’t do counseling. That’s the sphere of shrinks. However, my magnanimity disposes me to offer my assistance in whatever way possible when it is sought. My efforts towards that end are not always appreciated and the circumstances that led to me being a marked a man are a testament to the unthankful nature of homo sapiens. A lady colleague turned to me recently with her marital woes. To my credit I did warn her that I’m no guru in matters marriage having yet to encounter a lass crazy enough to gaol my ass for the rest of her existence. She insisted though, saying another colleague who has graced my coital abboitre had spoken highly of my slaughter skills. This perked my interest, I do indeed know a thing or two about inducing multiple orgasms. Now we were in Mofeas zone, I was all ears. Apparently her hubby of a few years was stale and monotonous in bed. He was a one trick ninja solely versed in the kendo technique of stab, stab, stab, collapse. She wanted to take charge but her inexperience in the coital arts prior to marriage meant she had no idea how to spice things up. She was also not about to ask for help from her girlfriends since that would be akin to issuing a press release on her deficiencies – her words, not mine. She needed discretion and had decided she could only confide in and find succor from yours truly. I couldn’t help but oblige after such a passionate plea, at last my porn stash was going to be an educational aid apart from serving its higher purpose of as a fap aid. I took sweet little missy to class ardently. I was determined to make make a bedroom warrior princess out of her. I took her through literature studies ranging from 50 Shades of Grey and Cosmo to the Kamasutra. We had marathon sessions on premium Pornhub and old school role play porn, you have to know how to instigate a rough pounding from mundane activities like doing the dishes. I had her doing pilates, kegels and gag reflex control routines till she was doing things to a banana that would amount to criminal abuse of flora. Boy was she a good student! In a fortnight’s time she could comfortably accommodate my king sized kong down her throat and look sexy as fuck as she swallowed every drop of jizz she’d coaxed out my grapes with her skillful tongue. After running the gamut of all her orifices, I felt my work was done. I was such a proud tutor. I issued my seal of approval with a good rimming and reluctantly with a tear in my eye and a throb in my gonads gave her power to practice all that pertains to her new prowess on her husband, the lucky bastard! I felt good about myself, no one would ever say I have never done a selfless act after that. Next morning, I’m in the office bright and early eagerly awaiting feedback. Madam walks in looking disheveled and out of sorts. I take that as a good sign, she must have rocked ninja’s world a good one yester night. Then the saga unfolds. So ninja had come prepared for his usual swordplay but he had another thing coming. Madam had taken over and unleashed her new found kata moves, this wasn’t going to be the usual one man show. Ninja was surprised at first but soon seemed to take it in his stride, after all no one can resist the linguini executed with a touch of reverse cow girl. In fact ninja was putting up a decent fight for once. His sword was miraculously transformed from a weak alloy to one made of valayrian steel. It endured bravely for four rounds only finally honorably bowing out when madam sheathed it in her posterior outpost, hemispheres it had hitherto never experienced. Ninja was thoroughly worn out but spotting a stupefied grin by the end of that pelvic combat. As they lay there panting, he sat up all of a sudden and grabbed madam. She was pleasantly surprised still revelling in her afterglow thinking another round was forthcoming, but woe unto her. She was served three abrupt kumanyoko slaps. Apparently, it had just occurred to ninja that her transformation from expert in kifo cha mende to Nefertiti come to life could not be a miracle. He went ape shit cray on her demanding to know where she had learnt the extreme stingos she had just pulled on him and self preservation led her to blurt out that I was responsible complete with my address. She was walloped a good one and last she had seen ninja he was assembling an arsenal of crude weapons while singing war songs and chanting the various varieties of heinous acts he was going to perpetrate on my person before dispatching me to my maker. I’ve been forced into hiding hoping reason will eventually prevail and he’ll understand that I was actually doing him a pro bono service. In the meantime, I can’t go back to my day job so I’m offering coitus improvement classes for y’all lasses stuck in missionary land. All you have to do is feed me and hide me. A man’s got to eat and if i’m to die then i’ll have done my bit for society. Holla. Posted from WordPress for Android
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