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Sometimes all we need a little nasty TLC. You’re home from work/school (not high school), tired, you’ve been rained on, all you want is a hug and some warm tea, but your ‘bae’ ‘boo’ ‘love’ ‘hun’…your resident idiot, is super duper horny for you. You look at that sexy body laid in all its naked glory before you and feel nothing but dread. Your partner wants…nay needs, you to be stellar tonight. There’s nothing worse than sexually disappointing someone so horny they’re turned on by the mere presence of you. No, you need to be at peak performance. But all you wanted is tea! Fuck! How do we salvage this situation? Well, there’s a way you can get the warmth and intimacy you desperately need from your decidedly randy sex mate without leaving them woefully unsatisfied and you even more stressed out and exhausted. The following move is perfect for those nights when all you need is a warm body intent on loving out all the cold this, ironically, chill deficient world, has cruelly inflicted upon you. The Classic Missionary Even monkeys know how to get into this position, but I insist on telling you how because describing these things turns me on a lot little! Lay her down gently on the bed/couch/carpet and kiss her. Kiss her until she starts to moan. afrisex4 Rub yourself against her, body to body, while your tongues whirl against each other’s. If your foreplay involved lots of massage oil then the rubbing will make the experience 100x more erotic. When she’s good and wet, slide your dick head into her. Just the dick head. It’s to collect moisture for what’s coming next. Get your boner wet and slippery then withdraw and run the tip lightly over her swollen clitoris. Some girls will find direct contact to be too much so a circular motion just around the little button’s edges – with a little more pressure than you would around her clit, should do the trick. How to know you’re doing the right thing: She moans, long and hard. Yeah? No. What you should look for is a change in breathing patterns. A sharp intake of breath or an increase in her breathing pace. The faster she breathes the better you’re doing. Of course moaning isn’t discounted…but we’re mostly liars and could be faking it. Just go with the breathing. After rubbing around/on her clit for 15 seconds your dick head is getting dry. Go back down and collect the moisture. Just the dick head yo, don’t get greedy. You can penetrate and withdraw the head a few times just to annoy her, then back to the clit. Take that button in circles until her eyes are rolling in rhythm with your D. Make her beg. Only when she’s at peak arousal are you allowed to enter her full. Do it slowly and gently. Love that pussy. Take it. Have it. Like it’s your most precious possession. As you enter her try your best to maintain eye contact. This part will require a little dialogue beforehand but it’s worth it. Keeping your eyes locked together throughout will be hard. The sensations coursing through your body at this point if you’ve followed my instructions, will be forcing your eyes shut like you’ve got magnets on each eyelid. Ignore instinct and watch your partner make love to you. Intimacy is the key word and this is a foolproof way to achieve it. Who cums first? It’s quite hard to achieve a simultaneous orgasm but trying is always a lot of fun! Having a generous partner that tries to make sure you cum first is always a major plus. Gents have famously been castigated for their selfish ways and we forget that us girls need to make his cumming interesting too. Do your best during foreplay to turn him on as much as you possibly can. Get better at head. Reciprocate with the massage. Don’t be afraid to feel around for sensitive spots. Use all these to your advantage. Move around during the missionary. This isn’t the position to leave it all up to him. Man in charge mpaka lini? You can should will take control and make his blood boil? What are all those late nights, spent winding your waist in time with Konshens’ instructions for if you can’t transfer this particular skill set to your bedroom? Any ‘good girls’ reading this? You don’t go out? Well, almost all the nursery rhymes we learned as kids taught us how to wind the waist. Yes, it was all for practice. Hook those legs around his waist and start moving! Kegels mami. Super important. That dick massage from your pussy will have him singing the Opera…in his mother tongue!!! Who said the missionary was boring. I would personally like to thank Johann Ludwig Kraphf (sp?) and his Mrs for bringing this position back and insisting on it as the Standard for all good Christians everywhere. In no way did they mention not fiddling with it. Be innovative. Make the tried and true a little nastier. afro

The following positions should never ever miss out on your repertoire of staple sex positions, especially when you’re in the not-so-gifted category of penis-hood. They make for maximum penetration and she’ll thank you for every second of your hard dong moving inside her, creating untold pleasures in her honey pot, during one of these. Let her get on top then bend your knees like in the illustration above. Your legs provide support for her bum so she’s able to stay in that position longer without tiring out, puts you in more control of her movements on top of you, pushes her clit more directly onto your groin for better clitoral stimulation and and this is a safer alternative to the traditional cowgirl because it reduces chances of knee injury from the continuous bending backwards your legs experience as she bounces her weight up and down while riding you. Because she’s tilted forward be your legs, your penis head inside her gets more direct contact with her gspot making her orgasm that much faster. You’re getting deep penetration and yours isn’t too far away either. Win-win for everyone. Get her into missionary position then lift first one leg, then the other, onto your shoulders. One her legs are high up, hold her firmly by her waist and lift her onto your magic wand. Penetrate her slowly until her lips hit the root of your penis and her bum is resting on your thighs. I know what you’re thinking miss. It looks like a tricky position but I promise that it really doesn’t need any degree of flexibility or for one to be particularly tiny. This is hands down my favorite position of them all! Granted, with my massive posterior, it’s somewhat impossible for my skinny partner to lift me onto his dick by the waist like in the picture featured, but the penetration is always extremely deep regardless. To achieve the extra extra deep penetration though if you happen to be a ‘big boned’ lass like me, you can place a pillow under you and that’ll provide the additional lift required,  perfectly. Ah! This one is for magic. Double the trouble with deep penetration and unlimited access of your tits by his eager lips. Let him sit on the edge of your bed or couch and straddle him like in the picture above. Use you knees and his shoulder for leverage as you move up and down on top of him. Rotate your hips for a difference in sensation. To provide extra sensation on your clit, he should lean back and lift his groin to meet your, here is another point where a pillow or cushion placed strategically under his bum, will come in handy, to avoid him tiring out too soon. Do not forget to fiddle with her nipples fellas. Some suckling is in order if she’s to achieve orgasm, a strategic gentle bite here and there wouldn’t be out of place either. Do be gentle though, you’re not there to tear off flesh like an untamed wild cat, even if she did call you ‘tiger’ at some point in your coitting.   This only happens with a doggie gone wild (or should) When you’re hitting it so hard you push her down onto the bed and into some random dark corner where she can only see darkness and is breathing rarefied air. She can move no part of her body and any attempts at taking back control are futile. You’re the man and she gon’ learn something today!!! To take her over the edge that much faster, take one hand to her front and play with that magic button at the apex of her thighs like your life depends on it. Ladies, even if he doesn’t, you have your own hands, don’t you? They’re jobless now that they don’t have to hold you up any longer. Put one down there and do the yellow pages! Let your fingers do the walking girlie. Believe me, cumming in this position is witchcraft itself! You will fall so hard for that man on top of you!!! Fellas, this is how to get your woman to submit. You want to be the dom in your relationship, this is where you take control. Fuck her so hard that her shaking legs only have the strength to take her to the kitchen and nowhere else. And here is the position for all those that wonder how ‘equal partnerships’ work in the bedroom. Get her to lie down on her side, not flat down but in a semi-seated position propelled by a pillow or two for more comfort. Straddle one of her thighs then lift the other one onto your hip as shown in the illustration above. Once in this position enter her slowly, stroking in and out as you go along to maximize dickhead contact with her gspot. Her clitoris is on easy access here so don’t forget to play with it until she sees stars. Like most other modified missionary positions, this one is perfect for you to play with his nipples. This is a forgotten art ladies. The male nipple rivals the female clitoris as an organ placed on the body purely for pleasure. The lack of fatty tissue in the male boob makes his nipple extremely sensitive and failure to pull at, suckle on and bite that little sucker is a disservice to the man pumping his hard member in and out of you at that moment. Rotate your hips, pinch his nipple and do ‘the butterfly quiver’ and see if he doesn’t ‘pour’ in three strokes of his cane.