Secrets

Multisexual Beings

FLOWERS. Most girls love flowers. Take a girl a bouquet right before you mess up (after? they’ll get shredded and/or thrown at you) and you’re guaranteed forgiveness. They give you a free pass to sex on Valentine’s day (head is included if you had them delivered to her office/class) and if you’re that ka-henpecked ka-dude that has to beg for sex today if he’s going to get some next week, then these get you some tomorrow. Men always ALWAYS wonder what it is that gives flowers their core value. A few petals and your female is wetter than the ocean between her thighs. Well, it all lies in biology and the psychology of the female mind. Let’s get back to high school just a bit (for y’all who are still in high school, yeah, you can think of this as revision). Remember reproduction? Fertilization in plants…where does it occur? That’s right, in flowers. So basically, the flower is a sexual organ. Stigma, all wet and sticky, totally a vaj. Anthers always depositing pollen on unsuspecting animals and exposed stigmas, extreme premature ejaculators eh? Either way, when it comes down to the science of flowers and females,  girls love sexual organs…that sounds so dirty ( just the way I like it 😉 ) Females get turned on by flowers because they represent sexuality. The fact that it is the sexuality of a plant that is represented doesn’t matter. They’re still sexy. This brings me to the conclusion that women, are multi-sexual beings. Everything that has the slightest hint of sex turns us on, and yes, I realize this means me too. You don’t believe me? Why? Ati ’cause your chic is never horny? Dude, sorry to tell you but…that just means you’re not sexy #jussayin#. Ok Mr. Skeptic, lemme put it this way, what would you think if two dudes started complimenting each others choice of dress? eg GUY1 tells GUY2 that he likes how the jeans he’s wearing define his ass, then GUY2 tells GUY1 that the shirt he’s wearing really brings out his skin tone and makes him glow…That word you’re thinking, yeah, I’m thinking it too. In capital letters, they’re both GAY! Gay dudes absolutely love giving compliments, to each other, to chics, to anyone that’s sexy. That’s why chics love them. They give your ego a nice big boost every time you’re around them regardless of whether you’re male or female. These guys aren’t bound by reproductive biology and societal norms and this allows them to find attraction wherever. Girls always tell each other how nice their boobs look in this bra or how sexy their butts look in those jeans….etc. No one ever looks at us funny when we say these things. Why? Because it’s expected. Have you ever wondered why it’s socially acceptable for chics to find each other sexy but not guys? It’s ’cause chics find EVERYTHING sexy! Another example, when a girl sees say, two dogs doing the dirty, she’ll turn away and feel totally embarrassed! Why? You might think that animals doing it in public embarrasses her delicate sensibilities when in fact she’s overly sensitive to the dogs because they’re having sex. The act excites her. She turns away to mask the sexual excitement building in her. If you spend a little more time near the mating dogs and observe this girl carefully, you’ll notice that she keeps stealing furtive glances towards them. She can’t help it, she’s getting turned on. The simplest explanation for feminine multi-sexuality is the fact that we’re the reproductive half of the human species. We’re however still expected to be nurturers, not only of our children, but also of our spoiled rotten child-like mates. Then after equality, we have demanding careers we must excel at. In the midst of all these distractions and reasons not to have more children, nature had to find a way to compensate. Our bodies are now programmed to notice and react to any and all sexuality in our immediate environs. This is a survival mechanism installed to ensure the species never dies out. Men are almost always in the mood so they don’t need much in the way of stimulation (one naked woman and everything rises in salute). Women, on the other hand, are confused creatures, and if there was no outside sexual intervention ie flowers and/or fucking chicken, then we’d be down to a few thousand. Not forgetting that men are generally dumb, totally clueless and very annoying, we can go fairly long without the need for coital stimulation just to punish them. Sex boycotts in Kenya have become international news. Thus God was good, and created flowers. That flowers are pretty is  just an excuse so that we don’t end up looking like major perverts for wanting a large bouquet of sexual organs for Valentine’s.