Pavlov And Coitus

So Minnie tells Mickey that she wants a divorce. Mickey asks her, “Are you fucking crazy? ” She tells him, “No, I’m fucking Goofy.”   That’s a terrible terrible joke!!!   But……..   Ivan Pavlov was a famous Russian physiologist. He contributed to many areas of physiology and neurology. Most of his work  involved research in temperament, classical conditioning and involuntary reflex action. His was an interesting life and as much as I would love love love to bore you to tears teaching you the scientific significance of his work with dogs and children (no you perv, I’m not talking about bestiality or paedophilia) this is Kenya and I’m on company time (skyving work, don’t tell my boss). His research was the first (and only??) step taken towards understanding the females of our species that actually yielded some useful results. HOW? So bitches and bells. Pavlov experiments with dogs involved measuring the amount of saliva a dog produced when it heard it’s dinner bell. The longer you used to bell to signify the arrival of food, the more the saliva it would produce. This is conditioning. Pavlov’s work with classical conditioning was of huge influence to how humans perceive themselves, their behavior and learning processes and his studies of classical conditioning continue to be central to modern behavior therapy.the idea of “conditioning” as an automatic form of learning became a key concept in the developing specialism of comparative psychology, and the general approach to psychology that underlay it, behaviorism. His experiments with children further confirmed that humans exhibit ‘taught’ behavior and it influences a large part of our everyday lives. So where does this tie in with coiting? Well, it goes without saying that if you’re rewarded for doing something then you’ll keep on doing it hoping to get rewarded again. If you do get rewarded each time, then you’ll keep on doing it again and again and that action becomes ingrained in your system thus becoming an involuntary reflex action. This system of rewarding is termed as POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Its opposite is NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT. If you do something wrong and get punished for it every time you do it, then it SHOULD should go without saying that in time, the desire to do it will dissipate and disappear completely!!! This system of rewarding and behavioral learning was later found to be writ in our DNA. What’s interesting is that it’s contained only by the X chromosome. Men can use it but they don’t have a complete grasp of when it’s appropriate to pull a ‘Pavlov’. Women on the other hand know exactly when to use it. SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION: They’ve got two X chromosomes. When you buy flowers (ref: MULTI-SEXUAL BEINGS hehehe), she puts out ie YOUR REWARD. When you don’t take out the trash she gets a headache. When you take her on a shopping spree preferably to Victoria’s Secret, head is definitely on the menu (gikomba if you’re a cheap a**hole)! Buy her jewelry on her birthday (and I don’t mean those 50bob chains from the street, cheapskate!) and you’re guaranteed a peek at that thong. Forget Valentine’s and you’ll get bobitted (Google that if you don’t know what I mean, you’ll understand why it’s not good for your health) As with all theories, the Minx/Pavlov law of sexual congress has an exception that proves the rule, CHOCOLATE. Buy her chocolate and you’ll be told you want her to get fat. Don’t buy her chocolate and you’ll be told you think she’s fat. (She might not tell you but she’ll be thinking it) Either way, you don’t get none. That sperm doesn’t fertilize that ova, no zygote is formed, no offspring for you. Now apply that to 3.5 billion dense males out there and what have you got? THE EXTINCTION OF MANKIND!!! Don’t buy her chocolate, let her buy some herself. Bankrupt Cadbury’s, save the world.