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Its unnatural. Unapologetically so. Few cases of this are visible even in the Animal Kingdom. Swans mate for life, penguins also have one life partner and 11 other species. But the most genetically advanced species in the world decides that it is oh so fashionable to render our birth givers and nurturers, single. The phenomenon of the single mother has blind sided us, knocking us off balance and we are teetering on the precipice of the destruction of the family unit. There are many reasons why some mothers are single. By choice, or lack thereof, when a lackadaisical excuse of a man decides he can’t reap what he has sown in his mate’s womb, he has PlayStation and iPhone to buy after all, and diapers would get in the way of his funding some rachet’s cause to drink Guarana out of stock in Kenya. We are not here today to save the world (not yet anyway) We are not here to bash the deserters (already did but that’s besides the point) We are here to celebrate the single mother. To remind her that she is a vision, a goddess. Today I assert my opinion, confident in my conviction, that the single mother, is the sexiest woman in the world (did I hear a ‘PREACH’?). I have met quite a few single mothers. Some are my very close friends. They all have different strengths and characters but one thing that they do have in common, is that they are all mind-numbingly hot! So jaw dropping are their looks that I usually have to compose myself (the pants get uncomfortable for some reason) when talking to them. It’s not a coincidence that this is so. I’ll tell you why. Nature has a way of balancing things out. When you have fallen short of one area, it strengthens another. It’s in nature’s design that there be two of every sex in all species. Male and Female. It’s in our sociology that the sexes be together in a union. Polygamous or Monogamous, doesn’t matter. When a man makes a woman a single mother, it is biologically imperative that she searches for another mate. And how does she get another one? By being physically attractive. Hence the Aphrodite look-alike contest among Single Mothers. Let us delve further though and unearth the other tricks this embarrassingly attractive woman has up her biological and social sleeve. Breasts. Its common knowledge that when a  woman gives birth, her breasts become engorged with milk. For nurturing her child – I’m looking at you, peeps from Migori. Gentlemen, we all know we have a mild (mild meaning maniacal obsession) liking for breasts. They are round, bouncy and soft. We like them big, not size Double G big (personal preference, not judging you Mr. Serial Motorboater), just big. And no one has larger natural boobs, than a new mother. She is a guaranteed victim of loads of motorboating. Mbrrrrrrrr! Just nuzzle your face into them while hitting it missionary, you wont last a minute my good man! Titties, titties and more titties. It’s a buffet of titties with single moms (literally). Just make sure you don’t suck them, lest you be awash in milk. If you do prefer to suck them, we might need a therapist for you because you might just be the sickest fuck we have, or you might be from Migori. Ass This is also another physiological development in a woman when she is pregnant. The body stores nutritious fats in her derriere for feeding the baby when it’s a foetus, and for making milk when the baby is born. I know I’m preaching to the choir when it comes to ass. If people are spending fortunes just to get some extra padding in the tush, best believe we love us some ass!! Spank it, grab it, bite it. Its there for your enjoyment guys, play nice. Vagina The Vagina is the best invention in the history of man, only seconded by the English Premiere League. It can push out a baby, stretching to unimaginable lengths, then a few months later, go back to normal like that shit didn’t happen! When it does go back though, Its Madonna all over again! Like a virgin!! It becomes tighter than my end month budget! You’ll be stroking her with tears in your eyes, singing Don’t cry for me Argentina . That sex will be the best 5 seconds of your life! This all depends though with the mother’s willingness to do regular Kegel exercises to tighten her vagina. Be ready to light incense after sex and bow down while chanting “I am not worthy” Commitment or Nah The fact that she is single with a Kid, means she just got out of what was once a meaningful relationship. Not particularly eager to get back on the saddle. If you on the other hand aren’t looking for a relationship either, then this works perfectly for both of you. She’s horny because the last dick she saw  put her in this mess and she hasn’t had none since, you’re horny because… Well because you’re a man. Single moms like to get the ceremony out of the way. That’s because once you’ve given birth, you’re pretty much more bad ass than Batman. No need to beat around the bush. You want to fuck? Let’s fuck. You nut, she cums, just be gone before her son wakes up. On the other hand if she’s been single for a long time and she’s ready to give love another shot, and at the same time you are willing to throw away your Durex packs and let loose your pussy harem, you can make the perfect couple. Because you both know exactly what your goal is. A Single mother has loads to offer both the randy and respectable gentleman. She’s a hot ticket, and I didn’t even need to put her on OLX! Should you be so lucky to bag one, this is the closest you’ll ever get to banging Wonder Woman, because Single Mothers, are the real Super Heroes. Happy Belated Mashujaa Day to all these extra special MILFs out there. You’re my heroes.
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anaconda3 anaconda 2 I used to like Nicki Minaj. Her flow was sick! She was in a league of her own, so much so that she challenged her male counterparts who couldn’t keep up with her witty and imaginative delivery on her verses. That was until I saw her latest video, Anaconda. God should give you a refund for wasting your time watching garbage perpetrating as art. She sacrificed her refined talent for something that the whole world seems to be obsessed with at the moment, ass. There’s a fascination with ass that I dare say surpasses that of breasts and vagina. Yes men fiend over vagina, but on an international level, ass takes the cake. It’s in all the songs on all the channels. It’s choke hold on society is suffocating. Open any blog and I assure you, it won’t lack a post on ass. Who has the biggest one, is the most popular debate. The emergence of the socialite, is a phenomenon exclusive to our generation. And no socialite is complete without ass. Kwamboka, Huddah (who lost some of her charm because of a lack of it), Risper… Its just ass, ass, ass, ass. Let’s not forget the queen bee (Vee?), Vera. Her ass is so revered, it has made her a living. A huge one! Continually posting pics of her lavish lifestyle, she is the envy of many a gold digging girl. It’s not just a local thing, even in the whitest part of America, the obsession takes hold. Traditionally, among the white folk, ass was a sign of an unhealthy lifestyle. Curves? What curves? You were just fat. Emaciated figures have walked down fashion runways for decades. Pale waifs were the standard symbol of beauty. That is now a thing of the past. Some porn sites now have a PAWG category, Phat Ass White Girl. Yes. And a round of applause, Ladies and Gentlemen for the Kardashian family! That family has ass! From mother to daughters. Hapo unakula kuku na vifaranga wake. No wonder they have to beat black men away with a stick (a gold one coz wealth)! That’s how much ass there is in that family. What pray tell, is the cause of this craving for curves? Researchers at Georgia Gwinnet College, carried out a study to this effect. They have a group of men, pictures of curvy women. An MRI (brain scan)  of these men showed increased activity in the areas of the brain that show enjoyment of pleasurable drugs! These guys were on  a high! Getting stoned and looking at ass have the same effect on the human brain!!! Ha! I always knew wify’s ass was addictive. (I have to say that, she’s watching and I want Chapati Kuku tonight). In an evolutionary sense, female curves signal to a male that she is healthy and youthful enough to carry offspring. Scientists also contend that females with curvy asses, have a lot of Omega 3 fats stored in there. These are the fats that spur good brain development in unborn foetuses. Big ass = Brainy baby! Who doesn’t want healthy, smart babies? The era of the sickly genius begun with the love of skinny women! It must end! In a sexual sense, I just love ass! Especially when you’re in missionary position, and you reach under her and grab that monster, a cheek in each hand. Lifting her up so that your pelvic thrusts meet her clitoris and soon she’s trembling into a mesmeric orgasm. Hitting it from behind is also a prime way of spanking that ass. Pummeling away at her pussy and that ass is just jiggling all over the place! You have to steady that ship Sailor! Hold her cheeks or better yet, her hips! Some guys are so  addicted to ass, that they fuck it. Anal sex is making a foray into mainstream sexual practices, and we are in fact we are behind in its implementation. (Hehehe, behind) What’s that look? Are you trying to say that I’m the only one not doing it? Well, I have nothing to say to that. Black booty, Whooty (white girl booty) Boriqua (Latino/Puerto Rican ass) it’s all the same in this mating dance, just as long as we aren’t dancing to Anaconda by Nicki Minaj!
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