I used to like Nicki Minaj. Her flow was sick! She was in a league of her own, so much so that she challenged her male counterparts who couldn’t keep up with her witty and imaginative delivery on her verses. That was until I saw her latest video, Anaconda. God should give you a refund for wasting your time watching garbage perpetrating as art. She sacrificed her refined talent for something that the whole world seems to be obsessed with at the moment, ass. There’s a fascination with ass that I dare say surpasses that of breasts and vagina. Yes men fiend over vagina, but on an international level, ass takes the cake. It’s in all the songs on all the channels. It’s choke hold on society is suffocating. Open any blog and I assure you, it won’t lack a post on ass. Who has the biggest one, is the most popular debate. The emergence of the socialite, is a phenomenon exclusive to our generation. And no socialite is complete without ass. Kwamboka, Huddah (who lost some of her charm because of a lack of it), Risper… Its just ass, ass, ass, ass. Let’s not forget the queen bee (Vee?), Vera. Her ass is so revered, it has made her a living. A huge one! Continually posting pics of her lavish lifestyle, she is the envy of many a gold digging girl. It’s not just a local thing, even in the whitest part of America, the obsession takes hold. Traditionally, among the white folk, ass was a sign of an unhealthy lifestyle. Curves? What curves? You were just fat. Emaciated figures have walked down fashion runways for decades. Pale waifs were the standard symbol of beauty. That is now a thing of the past. Some porn sites now have a PAWG category, Phat Ass White Girl. Yes. And a round of applause, Ladies and Gentlemen for the Kardashian family! That family has ass! From mother to daughters. Hapo unakula kuku na vifaranga wake. No wonder they have to beat black men away with a stick (a gold one coz wealth)! That’s how much ass there is in that family. What pray tell, is the cause of this craving for curves? Researchers at Georgia Gwinnet College, carried out a study to this effect. They have a group of men, pictures of curvy women. An MRI (brain scan) of these men showed increased activity in the areas of the brain that show enjoyment of pleasurable drugs! These guys were on a high! Getting stoned and looking at ass have the same effect on the human brain!!! Ha! I always knew wify’s ass was addictive. (I have to say that, she’s watching and I want Chapati Kuku tonight). In an evolutionary sense, female curves signal to a male that she is healthy and youthful enough to carry offspring. Scientists also contend that females with curvy asses, have a lot of Omega 3 fats stored in there. These are the fats that spur good brain development in unborn foetuses. Big ass = Brainy baby! Who doesn’t want healthy, smart babies? The era of the sickly genius begun with the love of skinny women! It must end! In a sexual sense, I just love ass! Especially when you’re in missionary position, and you reach under her and grab that monster, a cheek in each hand. Lifting her up so that your pelvic thrusts meet her clitoris and soon she’s trembling into a mesmeric orgasm. Hitting it from behind is also a prime way of spanking that ass. Pummeling away at her pussy and that ass is just jiggling all over the place! You have to steady that ship Sailor! Hold her cheeks or better yet, her hips! Some guys are so addicted to ass, that they fuck it. Anal sex is making a foray into mainstream sexual practices, and we are in fact we are behind in its implementation. (Hehehe, behind) What’s that look? Are you trying to say that I’m the only one not doing it? Well, I have nothing to say to that. Black booty, Whooty (white girl booty) Boriqua (Latino/Puerto Rican ass) it’s all the same in this mating dance, just as long as we aren’t dancing to Anaconda by Nicki Minaj!