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Sometimes all we need a little nasty TLC. You’re home from work/school (not high school), tired, you’ve been rained on, all you want is a hug and some warm tea, but your ‘bae’ ‘boo’ ‘love’ ‘hun’…your resident idiot, is super duper horny for you. You look at that sexy body laid in all its naked glory before you and feel nothing but dread. Your partner wants…nay needs, you to be stellar tonight. There’s nothing worse than sexually disappointing someone so horny they’re turned on by the mere presence of you. No, you need to be at peak performance. But all you wanted is tea! Fuck! How do we salvage this situation? Well, there’s a way you can get the warmth and intimacy you desperately need from your decidedly randy sex mate without leaving them woefully unsatisfied and you even more stressed out and exhausted. The following move is perfect for those nights when all you need is a warm body intent on loving out all the cold this, ironically, chill deficient world, has cruelly inflicted upon you. The Classic Missionary Even monkeys know how to get into this position, but I insist on telling you how because describing these things turns me on a lot little! Lay her down gently on the bed/couch/carpet and kiss her. Kiss her until she starts to moan. afrisex4 Rub yourself against her, body to body, while your tongues whirl against each other’s. If your foreplay involved lots of massage oil then the rubbing will make the experience 100x more erotic. When she’s good and wet, slide your dick head into her. Just the dick head. It’s to collect moisture for what’s coming next. Get your boner wet and slippery then withdraw and run the tip lightly over her swollen clitoris. Some girls will find direct contact to be too much so a circular motion just around the little button’s edges – with a little more pressure than you would around her clit, should do the trick. How to know you’re doing the right thing: She moans, long and hard. Yeah? No. What you should look for is a change in breathing patterns. A sharp intake of breath or an increase in her breathing pace. The faster she breathes the better you’re doing. Of course moaning isn’t discounted…but we’re mostly liars and could be faking it. Just go with the breathing. After rubbing around/on her clit for 15 seconds your dick head is getting dry. Go back down and collect the moisture. Just the dick head yo, don’t get greedy. You can penetrate and withdraw the head a few times just to annoy her, then back to the clit. Take that button in circles until her eyes are rolling in rhythm with your D. Make her beg. Only when she’s at peak arousal are you allowed to enter her full. Do it slowly and gently. Love that pussy. Take it. Have it. Like it’s your most precious possession. As you enter her try your best to maintain eye contact. This part will require a little dialogue beforehand but it’s worth it. Keeping your eyes locked together throughout will be hard. The sensations coursing through your body at this point if you’ve followed my instructions, will be forcing your eyes shut like you’ve got magnets on each eyelid. Ignore instinct and watch your partner make love to you. Intimacy is the key word and this is a foolproof way to achieve it. Who cums first? It’s quite hard to achieve a simultaneous orgasm but trying is always a lot of fun! Having a generous partner that tries to make sure you cum first is always a major plus. Gents have famously been castigated for their selfish ways and we forget that us girls need to make his cumming interesting too. Do your best during foreplay to turn him on as much as you possibly can. Get better at head. Reciprocate with the massage. Don’t be afraid to feel around for sensitive spots. Use all these to your advantage. Move around during the missionary. This isn’t the position to leave it all up to him. Man in charge mpaka lini? You can should will take control and make his blood boil? What are all those late nights, spent winding your waist in time with Konshens’ instructions for if you can’t transfer this particular skill set to your bedroom? Any ‘good girls’ reading this? You don’t go out? Well, almost all the nursery rhymes we learned as kids taught us how to wind the waist. Yes, it was all for practice. Hook those legs around his waist and start moving! Kegels mami. Super important. That dick massage from your pussy will have him singing the Opera…in his mother tongue!!! Who said the missionary was boring. I would personally like to thank Johann Ludwig Kraphf (sp?) and his Mrs for bringing this position back and insisting on it as the Standard for all good Christians everywhere. In no way did they mention not fiddling with it. Be innovative. Make the tried and true a little nastier. afro

I think it’s time we dropped this charade. It’s getting older than Moi’s nose hairs and it may earn us men some much needed respite. We have been accused, we have plead not guilty on numerous accounts but have been convicted none the less, even when the charges belonged to the next man. I’d like to throw myself at the mercy of the court when I admit that, all men are dogs. Yes. All of us. Filthy, horny, dogs. We couldn’t keep it in our pants even if it meant World Peace (which it probably does :-/). From your Dad to that silent guy who is always hunched over his computer at work (someone should look into that guy, I think he’s watching porn). We are dogs. Come on ladies, the writing was on the wall, we even gave you a little hint. A dog is man’s best friend. Who said, “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are”? He was talking about man and his doggy mate. Why choose to be a dog? You may ask, well, it’s because we can. Simple. There’s not a more selfish, insensitive and callous animal than the male of the human species. We were not created with a caring bone in our bodies. Caring was just implied in the Creator of the Universe manual. Females on the other hand are blessed with being able to bring forth life, hence are natural care-givers. Save us the guilt trip, those are the sort of characteristics necessary for us to be hunters and conquerors, so that the family could eat and we could have dominion over nature, just as the good Lord intended. If we cared about monogamy and the sanctity of life and all of that ethical crap, the human species would have died out ages ago. This also comes with some baggage, as most men, by default, don’t give a shit about female emotions. Only what they harbor in between their thighs. It’s all a game of who can pierce the most pussies in a single lifetime. A game most men are more than willing to take part in. Other men are less than enthusiastic about our hunger games, because society decided to create morals. Now its frowned upon if I shag 10 girls while having someone at home. I forgot to tell them about her! You try declaring your marital status to her while she’s all wrapped up around you, moving under you, when you’re completely taken by thick thighs with tears in your eyes (this shit even rhymes, that’s how right it is!) That girl will turn into a raging bull so fast!!! If you manage to hold on and keep your dick inside her during the bucking, it’ll be the fuck of your life!!! Better be worth it though, because she will find your wife. Divorce, ostracism, half your wealth gone… Woe unto you if you get caught cleaning the maid’s pipes! Hitler never died people, he just lived on in form of this nonsense. Now, since I feel for all you dogs out there, I did some research and some baking and found a way for you to have your cake and eat it too. Want to be a dog and still keep the wifey around? ‘;o Well, beat her with the same stick she beats you with. I mean fuck her into submission. Yes, there’s such a thing. This theory brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “fuck her brains out”. Scientists contend that an extraordinarily intense orgasm can cause temporary memory loss. Anything that powerful can always come to your aid because even if the memory loss is temporary, the effects are permanent. How many women have you ever heard confess that they want to leave their philandering men but can’t because, and I quote, “The D is too damn good”? It’s what shackles them to the relationship. When they say good D, they mean toes curling, blindness causing, failure of motor functions inducing, mother’s maiden name calling good D. The type she has to ask which year it is afterwards. The type that leaves her muttering nothingness into the pillowcase, twitching. Never underestimate the power of good Dick. Since you’re in trouble for doing the same to other innocent victims, you might as well pick up the experience from your away games to please the home crowd. I won’t stand here and preach that this is the miracle cheat for all you horny bastards, but it’s damn sure going to create some breathing space for you. You just need her to have a reason to hold on to your sorry ass. Plus treat her like a queen. Even if she thinks you’re cheating, the ethereal sex and a dozen of roses you sent to her mother, will confuse the fuck out of her. And even before the jury reaches a verdict of whether or not you’re guilty in the matter of the state vs your libido, their minds have already been swayed by how many times you made them all cum. And that gentlemen, is how you get away with murder, I rest my case.

You’re laughing when he walks in. You don’t see him but you know he’s present. Every hair on your body, your pulse, your skin, the tingling ends at the apex between your thighs…he’s here. Your body has never been wrong. Not about him. You’d sensed him at Habesha too, during dinner. Then he’d passed by your window. The scent of his cologne assailed your senses and it took all your strength of will not to dash out of the booth and jump him in public. Had your friends noticed your reaction? You hoped not. Did they notice it now? You make your decision quick quick. Excuse yourself carry your bag and head for the loo. You pick a stall, off with your sensible  underwear, a spritz of your perfume – neck, tits, wrist, behind your knees, inner thighs. You’re not yet ready. An image formed in your mind’s eye of his naked body looming over you, hard, poised for penetration. One, two, three fingers slide right in. In and out they moved. Your thumb is teasing your nubbin into rock hardness and peak sensitivity. Your other hand plays with your tits. Pinching one nipple then the other. They’re poking out, dark aereolas clearly visible through your chiffon top. Two, three minutes. You’re almost there. You close your eyes and focus on the sensations coursing through your body. The door opens. A hand goes on top yours, stopping its action on your drenched muff. His lips on yours. You inhale and his manly smell, cologne and an underlying musk  that’s just him. You wrap your hands around him, pulling him deeper for the kiss. 2 seconds and he pushes you away. You open your eyes, confused and find that the stall door is open. Anyone walking in will be treated to the erotic sight of you with your short skirt hiked up, a foot high up resting on the rim of the toilet bowl, pussy wide open, the moist pinkness beckoning. You want to tell him to shut the door but you’re bound to silence. You know the rules. No talking. Besides, he’s already turning you around and bending you over. You face hits the toilet seat cover. He pulls back your arms, holds then to your back by the wrists and uses them as leverage to pull you back onto his waiting dick. The head is massive and you gasp as he enters you, filling you up. He doesn’t stop pulling you back until his whole length is buried inside you and your ass is resting on his hairy groin. You can feel the hairs tickling your sensitive cheeks and it only serves to make you wetter as you start grinding your bum against him. You get a smack for that! It’s against the rules. One hand is on your wrists behind your back and the other grabs you by the hair and pulls hard. A reminder that this is his game. He’s in control. Of course he is. You’re his slut! The thrusts are hard and strong. He’s hitting you so deep you’re sure he’s beating against your cervix. Every time he pulls back his massive dick head grazes your g spot and you can feel the pressure building. You contract your pussy muscles around him and he yanks on your hair. None of that, you’re not there for your own pleasure. A few more thrusts and he fills your pot with his hot hot honey. He withdraws with a pop and by the time you stand up and turn around he’s already gone. His cum is trickling down your thigh. You scoop it up with your finger and bring it up to your mouth. Salty. You scoop more up and run the finger through your battered pussy. Your clit is still hard, throbbing with excitement. Using his cum as lube, you take a few minutes to rub one out. The stall door is still open but you don’t care. Let them come in and see a wanton woman take her pleasure in a public restroom.restroom