The Science Of Affairs
I have a married friend. Just one. Yes, we’re just friends… I have this rule. An anti-married men rule. It’s not because I’m particularly moral, we all know I’m not. (If I was hung on a tree I’d be a Christmas whorenament) My rule is as a protection. Everyone knows that married men are the biggest heart breakers! 80% of my girlfriends are dating or have dated married men. I realized this a few months ago and it’s led to my questioning thoroughly my friend picking techniques. Am I attracted to people that have no respect for the institution of marriage? We all know I don’t believe in cultural or governmental ties to a person. Was it birds of a feather or nah? Then I realized this, ‘good girls’ are also magically drawn to the taken guy. The allure of a commitment phillic guy is universal. We all want this ‘supposedly’ loving and responsible guy for ourselves. In this age of guys picking PlayStation 4, Xbox, iPhones, Subarus and hipster events over their rachet begotten offspring, who could blame us? Responsible men are a black grain in an ocean of white sand. I thought I’d found the answer for sure. That we’re just deprived of good men and we must inevitably fight in the ulimate competition, for the few good ones! Whomever cannot keep her ‘prize’ happy must suffer the consequences of losing him to a more worthy opponent. All’s fair in love and war. This was war. (cue in evil laughter) Hahaha! But…but….but… There was a thought hanging on for dear life at the edge of my consciousness. My mind was made up, I had my answer – women are predatorial beasts fighting for the only chunk of good meat amongst tonnes of rotten flesh… – but there was this idea that refused to let go. A troubling question that sent me digging. What of those girls that got lured into these traps without ever knowing of his marital status? They didn’t know of his responsible nature or his propensity for commitment, so why were these girls enough in number to warrant a thought into different theory? Well, my research showed me the light! Girls. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! You are not the sluts in this thing! Your judgement isn’t flawed! Our generation isn’t just a bad one. WOMAN! You are not conditioned to be a second wife! MAN. Your kind isn’t all bad with a few genetically modified good specimen. Nah…you’re just evil, using a natural law of nature against the females of our species. Once a man is hitched, that faint smell of desperation that hung on him during his bachelor days disappears. He’s got regular pussy, a constant companion, someone required by government and society to love him even when it’s near damn impossible for even his mother to. When his balls start aching for offspring he’s got a willing womb at his disposal, ready and willing to bear him heirs to his beaten down jalopy. Ah! The wonder that is marriage. The married man does not need you hussies. He’s got his beloved building a home to go back home to. He may not need you but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you. For the first time in his life women are flocking towards him, he doesn’t know why (I do) but he’s not wasting the opportunity to prove to himself and his boys that he’s still a major stud. He isn’t. So what’s happening? He is simply no longer desperate. Women love this! Men are always such sniveling pigs, coming after every skirt with the drool hanging precariously from their lower lips, threatening to land on our bodacious backsides with a shake of their heads. The taken man does none of this disgusting drooling after women. His calm and confident demeanor often has women doing the chasing after him. He has that bad boy ‘I got bitches’ aura. We can’t resist it. We are all attracted to the taken man. I won’t deny it and you shouldn’t either. For the majority of women, finding out that he’s someone else’s immediately turns the attraction off. He becomes disgusting to think about. Others don’t have that luxury of an off switch though…either they do not have it, and lucky are they to feel no guilt after the inevitable married man freaky dicky happens OR they weren’t given the chance to use the off switch at all! We all know married men do not like to admit they’re unavailable. It’s a cruelty I tell you! To deny a poor woman the chance to tell you no, and leave her the guilty mess that’s an involuntary home wrecker! Tsk tsk! Stop doing this btw. You are being Hitler on small scale. It’s not nice to ruin a woman’s psyche for the purpose of ego building. If you must have an affair, do so with a willing female. If there are none then sex workers exist for just this purpose. Tafuta langa akugawie. It’s not that hard to find a willing fuck aye. Here’s a good new year’s resolution for all our readers to follow, BE A BETTER PERSON Start with telling babes you’re taken you incorrigible flirt!