So, this is awkward… So much has happened since I last wrote. I moved cities, had a bunch of amazing, kinky, sometimes horrible sex with some amazing,...

Her size 38E Lime Green bra hang on her full breasts, even as she pulled the straps down the sides of her arms. A small giggle escaped her lips, the l...

I’m having a very hard time getting a Domestic Help for the house. Juggling our jobs, while taking care of the baby and house chores is quite&nb...

It had occurred to me that probably the reason most people had unfulfilled sex lives was not because they didn’t know the Kamasutra by heart, or...

Yeah I said it! Waswahili wasema “Mtoto umleavyo ndivyo akuavyo”. Would it be a surprise, if I told you that hakuna aliye tulea? Our fathe...

I can’t really remember my very very first sexual experience with a girl. I can’t remember my first sexual experience period. Just snippet...

Suckers! This is actually an article on how to succeed in life…suck seed, hihihi.Anyway, back to the booty. Now, all my anal experience upto let...

The backlash from starting this website…sirizetu, was *whew* tremendous. Did it stop my fucking? Fuck no! Did it stop me writing about all the p...

The night wore on, the conversation grew deeper. Judging that Kasee would be privy to his hound dog attempts at unfurling the voluptuous package that ...

The silkiness of the sheets against my naked bum, softly caressing, rubbing against my warm skin. The scent of the lavender candles, their aroma mixed...

The last two years have been the worst in terms of my sexual luck. Best in sexual lack actually. *sigh* I know what you’re going to say, girls c...

“Don’t ever make me jealous” He says. I nod, too confused to speak. Flashback on the events that preceded me being tied up and tease...

The pelting rain diluted his steady stream of tears. The crowd dispersed after the casket was lowered. He was left standing there alone. His were a co...

It is said the road to perdition is paved with good intentions. I’m afraid i’m about to become a poster boy for this saying very soon. My ...

Originally posted on Adventures From The Bedrooms Of African Women here Chuma lay in the dark and tried to stop his dick from rising. He tried – and f...

There's nothing as depressing as starting to believe that your mojo has gone dodo. When you can no longer get the most frigid of women to soak their ...

Happy New Year to all you purveyors of boner inducing, clit tickling literature!! Can’t wait to see what 2015 has in store, or if you’re i...

I have a married friend. Just one. Yes, we’re just friends… I have this rule. An anti-married men rule. It’s not because I’m p...

She took another swig of the beer bottle. I had never seen a girl down Guinness that fast. I hate Guinness. She finished. I ordered another for her. E...

In society single mothers are viewed as either saints or whores. Yes, I understand that it’s much the same for other women, but I assure you tha...

The Californian assembly has passed a law that requires all performing actors in the adult entertainment industry to wear condoms. This was passed aft...

The only place that didn’t have these incidences posted on them was probably on the back of cereal boxes. The videos were everywhere. Social med...

“Come out, Soni. This little guy is getting impatient.”She has been standing there for over five minutes.“Just a minute hun. I will be right out.”You ...

He said He’d give us good women in all corners, then he made the world round Then laughed his ass off without making a damn sound I speak to a c...

Ooooooh, sooooo good! Oh, God… Fuck! (Keep going.) I am buried in her, well, I am trying to bury myself in her, as she seems to have buried hers...

I fall in love in the first 3 words he says to me. Always. He doesn’t actually have to say them. Not in this internet age. I only have to stumbl...

All my life I had dreams of going to Nairobi like most of my older cousins. I had seen photos of how great the buildings looked, and I was told the sm...

https://twitter.com/SiriZetu/status/531462995499843584 https://twitter.com/SiriZetu/status/531463468302745600 https://twitter.com/SiriZetu/status/5314...

As the most qualified member of the male species to offer them representation (quit giving me the side-eye lads) I’m here to re-negotiate our co...

On a recent episode of Scandal, resident heroine, Olivia Pope, went toe to toe with her Father who happens to be a feared spy master. Her Father, with...

I have been told that I fap too much by concerned friends. No, they didn’t do it intervention-style, but they would have if they knew each other...

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Transcription Reke gwire, my dear, arume matiendaga mundu wa kanitha, urehage ukanitha nginya uriri. Muthuri arenda gukugarura, arenda umuigire itina ...

Let me taste you, just a little. But you are tasting me. I like it so very much I want more. You can’t have it all at once. You’ll die  of...

Transcription Eh! Ona diugaga kuoguo keino reke gwire. Nie mudu rume ucio wakwa diue kuria arutire experience. Nwona kang’ura, anyogaga ginya ga...

What amuses me with Twitter and social media in general is that somebody somewhere with a smartphone and a few bundles, thinks of something and decide...

It starts with a tug, at your shirt (Notice me), a hand brushed here ever so hintingly (I want…no,), an accidental bump. Then, comes the hug, th...

Her shoes were killing her. But Loboutins were worth the death of your heel. The walk to the bed was a slow sashay of the hips, as if performing to a ...

1:50 pm. I walk in. You’re seated at the head of the long table reading through some papers, forehead creased in concentration. You’re ner...

KAMITI Prisoners Demands Ultra Strong CONDOMS It looks like a lot is going on ‘behind’ behind bars at KAMITI maximum prisons. The inmates ...

Today I’m going to say a bit (ok, a lot!) about our 2nd closest ape relatives, The Bonobo monkey, Pan paniscus. These monkeys have been linked t...

Its unnatural. Unapologetically so. Few cases of this are visible even in the Animal Kingdom. Swans mate for life, penguins also have one life partner...

Sometimes all we need a little nasty TLC. You’re home from work/school (not high school), tired, you’ve been rained on, all you want is a ...

I think it’s time we dropped this charade. It’s getting older than Moi’s nose hairs and it may earn us men some much needed respite....

Here and now, let me tell you today, NEVER EVER HAVE SEX AT THE BEACH!!! EVER!!! Why? Well, because it’s a really really bad idea for your genit...

The following positions should never ever miss out on your repertoire of staple sex positions, especially when you’re in the not-so-gifted categ...

Dear little Slut,Do you have something inside your butt?That's making you look a little sickOh yeah! It's just the Konda's ginormous dick&...

So Minnie tells Mickey that she wants a divorce. Mickey asks her, “Are you fucking crazy? ” She tells him, “No, I’m fucking Go...

Do not eat when you’re hungry because you’ll end up eating junk. My mum keeps telling me that. For a really long time I thought it was tor...

I’ve done the dirty to all sorts of music. Ragga, dancehall, rock, death metal (got chocked that time), house, dubstep and one very weird time, ...

Most men didn’t know what they were doing in between her legs, or, she figured, didn’t care if they did. Some tried to impress her. Those ...

I have urges, very specific, very weird urges. Urges I never act on them because I would then be an asshole. I have thought of dropping someone’s phon...

You’re laughing when he walks in. You don’t see him but you know he’s present. Every hair on your body, your pulse, your skin, the t...

I used to like Nicki Minaj. Her flow was sick! She was in a league of her own, so much so that she challenged her male counterparts who couldn’t...

Around election time 2013, an older girlfriend of mine invited me to her place for dinner and drinks. Except for two that had come as a couple, the re...

THE FINAL STRAW I resent the person that reduced men into a mindless pack of erections on limbs, when they said that we can and do stick our pricks in...

I met him at midday. It was hot as hell in Mombasa, and there was no way I was walking from Equity to Cannon Towers, a 10 minute walk in normal circum...

On the first day in my new school, I was not happy at all. I was in Form 3 and tasked with starting all over again; making new friends, adjusting to n...

He was beautiful. She'd stared at him for days. Watching him. He did everything beautifully. He ate, walked, talked, listened so well…&mdash...

It’s a Saturday today, and yesterday a vast majority of you was our shaking booty and drowning your livers at various Anti-Mututho establishment...

So a few days ago, a pal of mine said I have really twisted theories…I sooo don’t!!! Ok, maybe I do. What you don’t realize is that ...

Ahem! Attention! I’m talking to you. Yes you! You with the nerd glasses, you with the single condom in your pocket that’s been there for 8...

FLOWERS. Most girls love flowers. Take a girl a bouquet right before you mess up (after? they’ll get shredded and/or thrown at you) and you̵...

Losing it. It was a hot summer afternoon, I was just laying on my couch cruising through the TV channels when he calls. “Have you had lunch? ...

For the record, the idea for this post came from a girl-pal of mine who’s very curious as to how people in this depraved world of ours conduct t...

This conversation takes place from  9am – 10am between myself and Peter Penis. “Hey dude! Wake up! I’m always up before you everyday...

You probably have a ton of favorite positions when it comes to sex, but what about foreplay? If your pre-sex routine is feeling, well, routine, it’s t...

Picture this. It’s 1858, the place is a cotton plantation in the Antebellum South of Mississippi, America. As usual is been a sweltering day. Th...

No! No, no, no, no! Where had that sound come from? Why did she moan? She couldn’t be enjoying this! It wasn’t possible!!! No, no! She wou...

“What turns you on?” Such a loaded question! The sheer quantity and variety of possible answers to this question is daunting! You can̵...

I spare no amount of effort nor will power in saying this, knowing  fully well that i shall bear a great cross once these words escape my mouth but he...

Keys. Where were her keys? Her hand searched deep into her 10kg handbag. She remembered how he never let her call these big bags ‘cute’ an...

We all know Chris Brown, he of the ‘beat the fuck out of Rihanna’ fame (yes I said it FIDA! Sue me). Well Chris has a new hit single rulin...

The bartender placed his drink on the counter. The vodka rippled,he took a sip. The bartender took the consequent wink from his customer that, the dri...

I tell you to change position. You get on all fours. Doggy. Face down ass up. I stick my condomless in your pussy half way then remove it. You weren&#...

THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE We are all liars. We lie to each other everyday. I’ve told so many lies in my few years under our Earth’s sun...

by VanillaSpice The Minx told me to write for her. Earlier on, I’d asked her to read stuff I’d written before, and then to tell me what she thought. T...

I don’t trust people who say they don’t watch porn. I mean who the hell doesn’t watch porn? I’d forgive the Pope because he ha...

  Hey Hey This is exciting lol Hahaha! Really? Yeah lol. Because we don’t know each other. Taboo. Is it really taboo? I know how you look a...

It was 5 hours long. I’d carried a book to read on the trip,I was almost done with the final chapter when I heard someone say we were 10mins awa...

We talked about the importance of introducing kegels to help strengthen your pussy’s pc muscles, strengthening your pelvic floor to avoid the to...

He shouted at you again at work today. Just a few minutes ago actually. You’d left for lunch at 11 after getting to work late, at 9, and gotten ...

Your time to become a sex goddess that leaves your man a quivering mass of spent fantasies and lifeless organs, is here! Kegels you’ve probably ...

We women like to think we are perfect. That our bodies are perfectly engineered to please man. Isn’t that why they’re so obsessed with sex...

“Bestiality is an ugly word for a beautiful act. Inter species love is the purest kind. Beyond colour, race, sex, appearance, smell. Beyond spec...

I read this story once where a village girl wandered down to the river at the dead of night. She was sleep walking but was fully awake at the same tim...

My mum and aunties were never shy about sharing their childbirth horror stories with me, they are, in fact, embedded right in there with some of my ea...

Njoki Chege made a valid point when she talked about irresponsible wives letting their husbands drown in belly fat. It is irresponsible behavior, and ...

“You see how we have Halle Berry in the United States, in Ethiopia the streets are filled with Halle Berrys” -Chris Tucker- In a long runn...

I have a sexy favour to ask you.                                                                                                                      ...

ROCKET SCIENCE 101: Monogamy I like to believe Adam and Eve’s relationship was easy. They had plenty of food and water, they were both ridiculou...

Isn’t it always so sad though, when the perfect man is hopeless between the sheets? He could be just the right age, the right build, the right j...

A few years ago the gorgeous Jude Law (2nd white guy I’d totally bone) was caught cheating on his wife, the goddess Sienna Miller, with their dr...

It’s been a while since I’ve tried something new. Mostly because I’ve realized Kenyan men are generally scared of change, especially...

Last year there was a review of our workplace CCTV camera footage. What was discovered was astonishing! Apparently in an empty office, when they thoug...

My partner in crime, FacialKnight, talked about the benefits of choking the chicken juzi. According to him 100% of dudes have gone through that same e...

A friend of mine swears he can’t eat vagina.  Don’t worry,  I have put our friendship under investigation, like, how did this neanderthal ...

I joined Twitter in 2009.Mainly because I wanted to read white people Jokes. White boys and bored house Fraus make for the best comedy.  As the site t...

In the books I read as a teenager, it was always the first time for the heroine when the hero laid her down gently on the canopy bed/ soft grass/ beac...

I can’t remember who told me this story but I’m glad they did, because now I get to tell you why visiting fine establishments like Sabina ...

Sex must be the creation that God is most proud of. For Him, it must be like when you pour wax on ants and watch to see how they will react. Then He l...

It’s Monday morning, you woke up at 3:30 am, showered with that expensive new perfumed soap, applied lavender scented Esteé Lauder lotion, some ...

I’m always terrified when I meet a guy that wants to romance me in this ruthless Kenya of ours where things wanted are taken without a thought f...

What is it about drunk sex that’s so like that *stare at image above for not less than 20 seconds*? Is it the loss of inhibition? Not caring how...

So I just saw people on Twitter talking about stroke game. I don’t care about how long you can hit it by the way, so long as you’re hittin...

To shave or not to shave? that is the question. First of all, if you live at a place that hits27°c and over occasionally then you HAVE TO shave! No ne...

I used to think I was the ‘tall, dark and handsome’ kind of girl. The dream was to get someone that fit that description and had a great b...

I promised a sequel to jana’s post and boys, it’s your turn. I hate head! Hate it! I could have been right at the top of the pleasure moun...

I woke up like this –> sore throat. Naturally (umm…coz I’m what they call a pervert), I thought of blowjobs and this girl pal that t...

Do you ever get so horny you just press your thighs together:  squeeze, let go, squeeze, let go until you’re so worked up you would come at a fe...

Eish! That’s tear your pussy up dick! Look at it! See it!!! Massive! Yeah white people, that’s what we’ve got lurking in our African...

On Saturday I was at this cool kids’ gathering in town, a tweetup/instameet. Hey, relax! Don’t worry, I’m not about to bore you with...

I get the ‘guys are idiots for visual aid’ thing but the nudes craze is extremely out of hand! I keep bitching that dudes don’t even...

I had fun at 18. Lots and lots of fun. Too much? Most probably. I don’t know how you spent your 18th year girly, but if it was having lots of st...

So, I’m not one to complain and leave out the solution and given the magnanimous mood I’m in today, you might just get more than you barga...

So, I’m not one to complain and leave out the solution and given the magnanimous mood I’m in today, you might just get more than you barga...

Let’s just be honest girls and tell these honies that the pot of gold they’re digging for, well, they ain’t going to find it. You...